Monday August 13, 2018

"Long-running quiz show Jeopardy! and erudite host Alex Trebek have landed on Hulu. In a new deal between Hulu and Sony Pictures Television, Jeopardy! has made its subscription-streaming debut, with 60 episodes available on the service starting Friday (Aug. 10). Hulu said it will continuously refresh its lineup of popular episodes of Jeopardy! Currently, the episodes of the show available on the service are from a few years ago: 25 episodes each from seasons 29 (2012-13) and 30 (2013-14), and 10 episodes from season 31 (2014-15).

A look back at some great cameos from The Office.

Whatever drama you watched last night was unmatched by this drama that unfolded on ESPN. Take 6 minutes and enjoy.

Trolls have forced Ruby Rose to leave Twitter. Trolls make me sad. It's a pathetic existence if that's something that brings you joy.

Omarosa is good at keeping her name in the press.

The Daily Show correspondent Ronny Chang's new Comedy Central show can now be streamed on the CC app. Chieng stars in this sitcom based on his experiences as a Malaysian international student studying law in Australia. You can also watch here.

Chris Hardwick returned to AMC last night, tearfully. More below.

A farewell to Hulu's Casual.

How the Roseanne reboot inspired Insecure season 3's new show within a show Kev'Yn.

Vincent D'Onofrio opens up about his reputation on the set of Law & Order.

Tony Shalhoub sat down with The A.V. Club and talked Marvelous Mrs. Maisel as well as Monk and Psych.

76db5c6bbca6d19ae273375e807fa3a2.jpg

Per Variety, "[t]he HBO series Sharp Objects benefits from one hell of a blunt object: the hammer of the gods that is Led Zeppelin, whose music recurs throughout all eight episodes. Director Jean-Marc Vallée (Big Little Lies, Wild) scored a coup by licensing four Zeppelin tracks for the Amy Adams-led mystery tale, which he considered an essential component, even though Led Zeppelin II played zero part of Gillian Flynn’s source novel. Getting a four-fer from Robert Plant and Jimmy Page was especially sweet after he was denied even one song for an earlier film, as he relates in an interview with Variety.

"Vallée also spoke about some of his other recurring music choices — including the electronic music quartet the Acid, and the roots-based indie rockers M. Ward and Hurray for the Riff Raff — amid a soundtrack that includes everything from LCD Soundsystem and the War on Drugs to Perry Como and Engelbert Humperdinck:

Why go all-in with Zeppelin on this project? Did you grow up as a fan?
I did, and I have always been trying to do something with Zeppelin, since it’s been so much part of my life, and because I’m always trying to put music in the center of the lives of the characters. I tried with “Café de Flore” and it didn’t work out for the rights, and I was wondering when there would be another good opportunity. When Amy invited me to do this with her, the more I read the book, I went, “Oh my God, I think if we can make Sharp Objects and make it from beginning to end a Zeppelin sound, this will be it.” Because of the character, Camille.

One of the big reveals comes when Camille, in an episode 3 flashback, discovers the band sharing earbuds with a fellow patient in rehab…
Just before I started to shoot, I was trying to figure out Camille’s music library, and I couldn’t. Then I went, that’s it! — she’s not a music person, but she’s going to travel with an iPhone that belongs to someone else who is. And that person is the 16-year-old kid from the rehab center, Alice (Sydney Sweeney). It made total sense for this kid to be a Zeppelin fan, just like my kids. I have two sons, and at 16 they were into Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, David Bowie and a lot of British rock. So it travels from generation to generation. And I gave this kid an eclectic musical taste. Camille is learning to discover this other person through music. I thought that was a beautiful device, and that she would play music alone as she is investigating, trying to heal.

There’s an ingenuity to the character picking up these tastes from someone else, because sometimes it feels like every leading character in a film or TV series just happens to have the same super-cool tastes that a music supervisor would have.
Exactly. I mean, I always try to aim for the main character, but it happened also with Jake Gyllenhaal’s character in Demolition. He wasn’t a music person, but his wife was, and a kid that he meets was, also. But in Wild, (the Reese Witherspoon/Cheryl Strayed character) was music-oriented, so that was an easy one. In Café de Flore, I was following a DJ. It’s easy when the main character is the one. But “Sharp Objects” was trickier. Normally in prep, I find the tracks and I give them to the actors and I go, this is what you’ll play throughout, and I play music on the set. It was just at the last minute that it happened with Alice and Camille.

Camille is out of control in some ways. Is that why Zeppelin made a good fit?
With Zeppelin, there was something that fit both characters. With Camille, you don’t know how old she is, but let’s say she’s mid-thirties, and she’s a journalist, an intellectual. She doesn’t take care of herself. She has a rock and roll attitude. She’s doing it her own way, not only with the scars and how she harms herself, but the way she lives and works, and she’s single. There’s something sexy about the tracks that we chose, in the slowness of What Is and What Should Never Be and I Can’t Quit You Baby. And when it explodes and makes a lot of noise; this is the nature of rock and roll, to make it loud and tell the establishment and your parents, “F— off, I’m doing it my own way.’ That suited Camille pretty well.

And then Thank You is such a beautiful, almost epic song. That’s the song Alice uses to introduce Camille to how she does an in-scape — she escapes, but within, with music; that’s how she gets out of the rehab center. She’s showing Camille how to use music, when Camille will use later on to do some in-scape, too. When this 16-year-old girl plays that to her new roommate, using her fingers to close her eyes, there’s something romantic about the way we used the music, almost like they’re having an affair, although we’ll discover that they’re not and it’s not about that at all. It’s about connecting to music, and how you use music in your life to heal or to love.

Zeppelin was loud and brash and rebellious and over-the-top, but also with an inherent sense of mystery — and this is a mystery show…
Exactly, and that’s why “In the Evening” is there. And it’s like it was meant to be in a film and be score music — almost a horror or suspense film score. For the Zeppelin fans it may be a torture, or at least a tease, not to hear more of In the Evening, but I wanted to save some of it for the last episode. That may be a spoiler.

It’s been reported that you tried to get Stairway to Heaven for Café de Flore and Jimmy Page said yes but Robert Plant said no. What happened there?
On that one, we worked with the label and publisher for about a year and half. Them we harassed Robert Plant when he came to Montréal, and he said no to our faces, live — with no explanation. I had written “Café de Flore” with “Stairway to Heaven” in mind. Because Vanessa Paradis’ character is living in the highest part of Paris, where you have to climb stairs all the time; she’s a poor Parisian with a Down Syndrome kid, and every day she brings him to a special school on the Left Bank, and the class is on the third floor where she has to climb more stairs. The whole concept of stairs in “Café de Flore” comes from “Stairway to Heaven,” because she is buying her stairway to heaven. And then I lost the f—ing track. I was destroyed!… I wasn’t pissed — I was devastated. I wanted to quit. I was like: How could they? That song belonged to me, too! I grew up with this f—ing song and it gave me wings to fly and to imagine and to come up with this story, and they refuse? I go, why would a fellow artist do this to another fellow artist that uses his work to inspire? It’s just sharing, and it’s using art to try to tell stories that can touch the heart. Anyway…

Going into Sharp Objects, having that Zeppelin-related trauma in your past, were you thinking, what if we get to the end only to have Robert Plant say no again?
Well, we made sure that it wasn’t the end. … We went for four tracks, and we sold the idea to them that they will be the sound of this series, so of course that was something special and different. I didn’t do that with Café de Flore, but I should have. We sent the script and very specific descriptions of how we’re using their music, and the in-scape element coming from Alice. And it worked. So we had the news pretty soon in the process, but I had a back-up plan. I was ready to go to another rock band if Zeppelin wouldn’t work. But I was hoping that it would, because it was perfect for this dark story. And there’s beauty in the darkness of the story, because Camille is a beautiful soul who just doesn’t know how to love.

You have a lot of “mother” songs in the series, too. That maybe doesn’t require much explaining, since Patricia Clarkson’s character looms over everything.
At one point I asked Sue [Jacobs, music supervisor] to hear every single song that has the word “mother’ or “mama.” I knew I Love You Mama from Snoop Dogg and Dear Mama from 2Pac and Motherless Children (heard via the Steve Miller Band’s rendition). We soon found about a hundred of them. Since this mother relationship is so singular and powerful, in a sharp and dangerous way, it made sense to see this young girl, Amma (Eliza Scanlen), connecting to these songs, more than Camille. Amma is talking to herself, using music in a similar way to Camille, but in her own fashion. And it wasn’t written. We ad-libbed this beautiful moment and said, “Why don’t you (Scanlen) play Dear Mama and go to your mother and hug her and dance with her?” It’s using the lyrics to tell your mom that you love her – and in this context, it’s pretty crazy, since she’s being physically, mentally and emotionally abused by her mother. But there is unconditional love from children to their parents even in abused situations.

Zeppelin is not the only musical act popping up more than once. M. Ward and the Acid also recur. Did you just like those artists and songs, or were there deeper thematic ties?
Sometimes I pick a song for the lyrics. That was the case with M. Ward. There was something beautiful and simple about this guitar, the voice and what he says [in There’s a Key]: “So I’m losing my marbles, one marble at a time, it’s true,” and “I’m conquering an ocean, one wave at a time.” Through Alice, Camille relates to this intelligence of connecting to poetic lyrics, and to Hurray for the Riff Raff’s lyrics, too [in Small Town Heroes, which describes a single female protagonist with “a no-good mom” and a drug problem who “wanted love… but she just couldn’t get enough”]. The Acid was for the vibe and the electronic, modern thing, and the dangerous, mysterious core quality of one of their tracks, Tumbling Lights, that became a recurrent theme from episode 1 till the end. That came from giving Alice a very wide musical taste.

Page and Plant may not be the types to send effusive telegrams. Have you hear anything from them about your use of their music since the show premiered?
Not yet. We invited them to the premiere, but Plant was touring and the two others weren’t in the States. When all eight episodes will be out, I’ll see if Sue will call the publisher and the label, or see if we heard from them first. They’re tough to read. I’m curious."

180725-chrishardwick-news.jpg

"Chris Hardwick isn’t getting a warm welcome back to work.

"Staffers at his show Talking Dead are quitting in protest over Hardwick’s Sunday return — two months after an ex-girlfriend accused him of mistreating her.

"A female executive producer and a “handful” of the show’s staff of approximately 25 have fled since AMC announced Hardwick would resume his role as host of the Walking Dead after show, according to a new report.

"The Talking Dead fallout comes days after Hardwick’s first TV appearance — on NBC’s America’s Got Talent — since actress Chloe Dykstra penned an essay in June accusing him of sexual and emotional abuse.

"Hardwick is reportedly working to regain the support of the remaining Talking staffers.

"In a 'very emotional' staff meeting called by Hardwick on Wednesday, according to sources cited by TheWrap, the comedian apologized for the ordeal. He also offered one-on-one meetings for any crew members with concerns.

"The cable host faced swift backlash after Dykstra published her essay on the blog, Medium. Less than 72 hours after the first-person piece hit the Internet, AMC suspended Talking Dead — the day before its season debut. And Legendary Entertainment scrubbed all mention of Hardwick from the Nerdist website he founded.

"Hardwick also agreed to step away from upcoming moderator gigs at Comic-Con and from his various roles at AMC and NBC, while the networks conducted internal investigations.

"Dykstra alleged in her essay that she was prohibited from having male friends, drinking alcohol or speaking when the two were out in public during their three-year relationship. She also alleged she 'let him sexually assault [her].'

"Dykstra did not name Hardwick, but he effectively outted himself when he denied the allegations.

"The 29-year-old actress defended her essay this week as Hardwick stepped back into the spotlight.

“'I 100% stand by every single word of my essay. I made sure it was unembellished, factual, and that I had evidence to back it up in order to protect myself in case of ACTUAL litigation (not a network investigation, where I’m not protected.)' Dykstra tweeted.

"AMC announced on July 25 that it was reinstating Hardwick following a 'careful review' of the allegations.

“'We take these matters very seriously and given the information available to us … we believe returning Chris to work is the appropriate step,' the network said in a statement.

"NBC confirmed a week later it would bring the 46-year-old comedian back to the judge’s panel of America’s Got Talent.

"Nerdist restored his name to the website sometime last week.

"AMC could not be reached for comment."

HGTV-Officially-Closes-on-Brady-Bunch-House.jpg

Per The Los Angeles Times, "[t]he bidding for the Brady Bunch house got down to a horse race, listing agent Ernie Carswell said, but it was HGTV that ultimately pulled away from the pack. So, just how much did the cable network spend to secure the television-famous property? About twice the asking price.

"HGTV paid $3.5 million to buy the Studio City residence, or $1.615 million more than the list price of $1.885 million. The sale closed Friday.

"The home received eight offers, Carswell said. The players included stage and television producers, corporate parties and entertainers such as singer-dancer Lance Bass, who was 'heartbroken' to learn he had not submitted the winning bid. All of them planned to keep the home basically intact.

“'Every [bidder] intended to retain the front facade as a historic preservation, but most of them intended to renovate the interiors,' Carswell said. 'No developer submitted a bid for the property.'

"In the case of the Brady Bunch house, nostalgia appears to have played a big part in its closing price, which is well above the market rate for the area. In June, the median sale price for single-family homes in the area was $1.134 million, according to CoreLogic.

“'The dollar amount absolutely speaks to the fame of the house,' real estate agent Steve Shrager said. 'Under normal circumstances it would have sold to a developer for even less than the asking price.'

"Shrager, who is not affiliated with the Brady Bunch house, last year listed and sold a nearby Studio City home where pop singer Britney Spears married dancer Kevin Federline in 2004. Many people came to see the house after news of its celebrity ties became public, but it didn’t translate into additional offers, nor did it help the closing price, Shrager said.

“'That Brady Bunch house is so iconic and so representative of a way of life,' he said. Its celebrity 'definitely put more money in the seller’s coffers.'

"HGTV has already hinted at what may be in store for the beloved home.

"On an earnings call this week, Discovery Inc. Chief Executive David Zaslav said the network planned to 'restore the Brady Bunch home to its 1970s glory as only HGTV can.' A spokesperson for Discovery declined to elaborate on the project.

"As part of the sale, HGTV will receive the original 1959 blueprints for the house, Carswell said.

"The split-level home, which is so popular it has its own Yelp page, was used for outdoor representations of the Brady Bunch family home. That included the show’s opening and closing scenes as well as numerous interludes to denote the time of day. Interior scenes for The Brady Bunch were filmed in a studio.

"The home’s floor plan retains a host of 1970s details but bears little resemblance to the layout familiar to TV viewers.

"A rock-wall fireplace and wood-paneled walls are among classic details found in the living room, which features a built-in bar. Floral wallpaper and window coverings are another vintage touch. The home’s MusiCall intercom and whole-house radio also remain.

“'This is a postcard of exactly what homes looked like in the 1970s,' Carswell told The Times last month.

"There are two bedrooms, three bathrooms and about 2,500 square feet of living space that may not include an expansion of the downstairs family room, Carswell said. The garage was converted into a recreation room.

"Violet and George McCallister, the parents of an almost-Brady-size 'bunch' of five sons, bought the house in 1973 for $61,000, records show. The TV series ran from September 1969 to March 1974 before moving into reruns in syndication.

"The McCallisters are both deceased, and their children are the sellers."

I'm just happy to see that HGTV is putting that new money to good use!

the-feast-tom-tom-promote.jpg

Per Vulture, "[i]t appeared in reality as if summoned from dreams. Moving gears, matching white suits, fresh flowers whose fragrances meshed discordantly with elevated bar food, and share plates. Could it be? Tom Tom, the new Lisa Vanderpump bar and restaurant proposed at the end of Vanderpump Rules’ fifth season and built (with much turmoil and sweat equity) throughout its sixth, existed. And I was there.

"The journey to Tom Tom was a difficult one, mainly for Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz, but also for me, who had to convince Vulture-dot-com that it was worthwhile to fly me across the country to go to a bar. But the drunken meetings, accidental flare-ups with Lisa, and hard-won 'progress parties' were not for naught; Tom Tom — which is styled as two separate words, per Vanderpump PR ('Ken & Lisa have confirmed Tom Tom’) — opens to the public on August 9, 2018. 'Obviously, it’s been very exciting,' Tom Sandoval told me, regarding the opening of Tom Tom. Believe me, I know. 'And it’s been a lot of work, too,' he added. Believe me, I bet!

"I visited Tom Tom for a menu-tasting event on Monday night. The bar is situated in the same area of West Hollywood as Vanderpump’s other properties, none of which I’d ever visited, so I took the occasion to, before the tasting, visit Pump for a happy hour Pump-tini ($8). If you can picture it, I sat at the outdoor bar where Tom Schwartz once had a panic attack after working a half-day. If you can imagine it, I spent the duration of my stay talking to a handsome bartender who hopes to be an actor and who made me promise that our entire conversation remained off the record. It was perfect.

"Vanderpump Rules is special in that it is at once a truly great television show and a truly great theme park. The places where our favorite characters worked or still work, DJed or still DJ, fucked in the bathroom or allegedly fucked in the bathroom are visitable whenever we want. They, along with their goat-cheese balls and their Pump-tinis, exist wholly in reality. We are lucky for this gift. Luckiest of all, however, is me, Kelly Conaboy, because — as you are by now aware — I got to go to Tom Tom on Monday.

"Tom Tom’s interior does not disappoint. The elegant steampunk aesthetic, design notes mentioned throughout Vanderpump Rules’ sixth season, is articulated in the styling much better than the words 'elegant steampunk aesthetic' would lead you to expect. Large-format clockwork and gears swing and spin continuously behind the front bar, where the ceiling is coated in various sizes of chandelier, many of which are encased in — I’m not sure how to better describe it — balls. Dotting the bar top are bouquets of fresh white flowers, which spread the scent of a funeral home freely and with abandon. Next to the bar sits a smaller 'shot bar,' behind which are, like, a bunch of tubes and beakers burbling with liquid like it’s some sort of science lab. The seating is in a plush, tufted cerulean blue, and the backyard is decorated pleasingly, if incongruously, with a bunch of succulents. It’s a weird, beautiful, very funny space.

"(This is save for one area, however, which is the multi-person bathroom. I was sad to find out that this space was not particularly elegant, with three gray stalls and only a small vase of fresh flowers. The lighting, bright and sterile, and the mirror placement, too high for me personally, were not conducive to attractive bathroom selfies. It will, I imagine, set a nonideal mood for those who want to eat pasta.)

"The Toms, Ken, Lisa, and Giggy (Ken and Lisa’s dog) (not to insult your intelligence with this parenthetical, I do assume you know Giggy) arrived a bit after I did. Lisa’s daughter Pandora and her husband were already there, visibly working. Amazing. At this point in my life, it’s hard to imagine celebrities whose corporeal form would excite me more than the cast of Vanderpump Rules. Celebrities in general are very boring, and I don’t care about any of them aside from Domhnall Gleeson, whom I would like to marry. The cast of Vanderpump Rules, however, has provided me with hundreds of hours of entertainment simply acting as exaggerated versions of themselves, and I would love to hang their autographs in my living room.

"Of course, Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz arrived on a motorcycle and sidecar wearing matching three-piece white suits and helmets labeled 'T. Sandy' and 'T. Schwa.' They’d arrived in the same way the night before, for an opening party with the cast that was filmed for the show. It was a very warm look for a mid-90s August day, but the boys — very handsome in real life, I have to say — wore it somewhat well. To ensure the prospect of an interview before any of us blacked out, I asked Sandoval if he might set aside a few minutes to talk to me later on. He said he and Schwartz would find me after he had a drink and a smoke. Amazing.

"In the meantime, my friend and I sat in the open-air backyard, which overlooks a basketball court and dog park. Here we sampled a few Tom Tom food offerings and many Tom Tom cocktail offerings, while I freaked out at the sight of Lisa, who was walking around socializing, and Ken, who was carrying Giggy and who would often take moments to himself, away from the group, to kiss and talk to the tiny dog. It was very sweet.

"Our server’s name was JoJo, which I hope is a theme with the servers. (My Tom Tom name would be 'KellKell,' for example; you’ll have to figure yours out on your own.) The food was all absolutely fine — elevated bar food, indeed — save for an olive fried in a style similar to a jalapeño popper that was served with a jalapeño aïoli. Another Tom Tom guest insisted that I try this snack, I assume as a prank. Please — do not order the crispy fried olives. Instead, order the 'Bubbapump Shrimp Jicama Tacos' or the 'Citrus Sesame Shishitos.' Each of these dishes carries my stamp of approval. NOT the olives.

"My friend and I ordered just about every cocktail Tom Tom had to offer (the 'Clockwork Pink,' the 'Toulouse Your Mind,' the 'Tom Fashioned') and, yes, my friend spent the majority of the next day vomiting. (I only almost vomited.) All of the drinks were beautiful — my favorite was the 'Alchemy Rose,' a hibiscus, ginger, and gin drink — and many arrived with little flowers in them or decorative coatings around the glass (bee pollen, coconut) that get your hand sticky if you accidentally touch the wrong part. This was not an issue for me, but a woman sharing our table stickied her hand with the bee pollen at one point and requested a damp napkin from JoJo to unsticky herself, which shocked me. I would never in my life think to request a damp napkin from a waiter. It reminded me of a time I heard an old roommate of mine request that someone at a photo-printing store put a border around her head shot before printing it out. (The store offered no such service.) I’m honored and frightened to have been in the presence of their bold requests. Also, while we’re still on the cocktails, the stemware was nice.

“'Villa Blanca is where you bring your wife, SUR is where you bring your mistress, and Tom Tom is where you go to forget about both,' Tom Sandoval told me, and I assume everyone else he spoke with on Monday night. (It’s not an unclever addition to Lisa’s quote, you have to admit.) He and Schwartz took me out the service entrance to chat, where I was struck again with the fact that they are both very handsome. I asked them what they’d been doing in the lead-up to Tom Tom.

“'We’ve been very busy, obviously; we’ve been in Schwartz’s kitchen — we call it the lab — working on cocktails. And this whole motorcycle/sidecar thing was like a vision I had last year.'

“'I had no knowledge of this,' Schwartz said, regarding the motorcycle-and-sidecar vision. 'He surprised me yesterday and picked me up. He arranged the white matching suits, of course, and the helmets. Custom helmets that say T. Schwa and T. Sandy. And a custom paint job — he spares no expense. He spares no expense.'

"I pointed out that Tom Tom was like Jurassic Park in this way, the sparing no expense, and the idea was met with much excitement. 'IT IS!' said both Toms. 'That’s awesome; that’s really high praise. That’s a great compliment,' said Sandoval. 'It’s an experience. It’s an adventure. It’s a break from reality. I want people to be able to come here and just forget about their problems,' said Schwartz.

"That is, arguably, one way to describe what happened to the visitors of Jurassic Park.

“'The past few months have been the ultimate learning experience,' Schwartz said. 'We’ve been like sponges, just absorbing everything. We’re trying to learn as much as possible, and just being in the same orbit as Ken and Lisa is like — it’s something special, you know? They don’t let many people in their circle. When Lisa Vanderpump refers to you casually in conversation as her business partner, it’s like — whoa! It’s pretty cool.'

“'It’s such a compliment, too,' Sandoval said, 'that Lisa would open up a place and call it Tom Tom versus —'

“'— James Jax?' offered Schwartz.

“'No, versus like Pinky’s or, you know, something like that. Like, to name a place after somebody else and for Lisa to see the marketability in that is, you know, a huge compliment.'

“'Yes, but also, you know, we all agree that it’s super catchy, and they did, too. Tom Tom. It just has a nice ring to it. Shout-out to Tom Tom Club — one of my favorite bands. Genius of Love. I wanted to name a cocktail after that and we haven’t yet, but we will.'

"During the reunion episodes after the conclusion of the show’s sixth season, Lisa revealed that she had not yet cashed the $50,000 checks that made the Toms 5 percent stakeholders, a fact that seemed to shock them. I asked, in the months since, has Lisa cashed the checks?

“'Not yet, but —'

“'That money’s as good as gone,' said Schwartz. 'Technically, we set up separate business accounts for that, and, yes, technically it’s not cashed. But mentally. Emotionally that money is gone.'

"Sure, yes, yes. I added that there was also the sweat equity to be considered. 'I know,' Schwartz said, shaking his head. 'We said sweat equity a lot last season.'

'We should have a shot called Sweat Equity.'

“'WE SHOULD!’

"Speaking of shots, 'Can we take you to the shot bar and have a shot?' Oh my god. Never in my life did I think I would have the good fortune to be invited for a shot with Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval at Tom Tom — typing the sentence gives my chills, as I assume reading it does for you — but I suppose one of my eyelash wishes came true. We went to the shot bar where Schwartz asked, 'Can we take a picture?”'and Sandoval replied, 'I’m gonna take a video,' before handing his phone to the bartender behind the shot bar. We took a shot — something guava related — and Sandoval AirDropped me the video. 'You’re one of the first people to do a shot with the Toms in Tom Tom,' said Schwartz, an accolade I will be adding to my résumé and tombstone and email signature, and one which I will consider tattooing on my arm in the style of 'It’s all happening.' Thank you to my friends Tom and Tom; I will never forget you.

"After taking the shot, while standing alone with Sandoval, I decided I should probably ask him about his Charles McMansion bandmate Isaac Kappy’s association with QAnon, as the story had just broken earlier that day and I am ostensibly a reporter, though more accurately, I am just a simple Vanderpump Rules fan. Had he heard about this? Does he even still talk to that guy?

“'I WOULDN’T COMMENT ON THAT,' boomed a voice from behind, scaring me. 'NO. DON’T COMMENT ON THAT. You don’t know what he’s been doing. No, don’t comment on that,' he said to Sandoval, who also seemed alarmed. Who is this benevolent stranger who seemingly hates comments? 'I’m his publicist, by the way,' the stranger said. Ah, yes. Still, Sandoval gave a light comment, as he was now my friend and even publicists cannot get in the way of friendship.

“'Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with him,' he said. 'We went on hiatus; obviously, I have a busy schedule with the filming, and the show, and press, so yeah, we’ve been on hiatus for a while. If there is Charles McMansion, it will probably be something I carry on myself. I don’t know what’s going on with him.'

"Fair enough. I left and ended up in conversation with Pandora at the bar. I then ordered a drink and Pandora’s husband brought it over to where I was seated, which was on a cerulean-blue fainting couch. Later, I asked Ken for a photo with him and Giggy, and he obliged.

"If you are very lucky, there will be a moment in your life when you take a step back and think, I did it. For Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz, I imagine the moment came this week. For me, the moment came when I arrived outside of Tom Tom. For you, well, I can only guess that for you the moment will come on your next trip to Los Angeles, when you arrive — finally, after a long journey, tired and thirsty but happy all the same — at the shot bar within Tom Tom where Kelly once took a shot with Tom and Tom."