Tuesday August 8, 2017

A new season of HBO's Hard Knocks premieres tonight.  This summer, the featured team is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

A new season of Hulu's Difficult People premieres today as well. Episodes 1, 2 and 3 are now available to stream.  More below. 

"CBS Chairman and CEO Les Moonves gave cord-cutting boxing fans — or fans of sporting spectacles — some good news during the company’s second-quarter earnings call: the fight between retired boxing champion Floyd Mayweather and mixed-martial artist Conor McGregor will be available to purchase through Showtime’s streaming service. 'Floyd Mayweather vs Conor McGregor will be available directly to consumers over the top,' Moonves said."

How New York Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard ended up on Game of Thrones.

People were upset by last night's Bachelorette finale.  I didn't watch and don't care, but evidently a LOT of people do.

Shameless returns for an 8th season on November 5.

OWN has ordered a 3rd season of Greenleaf.

Twin Peaks likely will not be revived for another run.

The world needs more Liam Gallagher sound bytes.

Trailers for new Showtime series White Famous and SMILF.

"Ugly Betty and Devious Maids alum Ana Ortiz will join The Mindy Project for its sixth and final season in a guest arc, EW can exclusively reveal. Ortiz will play Dr. Mary Hernandez, who works for a women’s clinic competing with Shulman & Associates, where Dr. Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) and the rest of the Project crew work — including Jody (Garret Dillahunt), whose patients start ditching him for Hernandez. He responds by attempting to bring her down, a plan that is then complicated when he realizes he might actually like her. Like, like-like her.

Lisa Vanderpump and her husband are being sued.

Per Deadline, "Netflix, which has been signing A-list comedians to its roster, is bringing back from retirement late-night icon David Letterman. The internet network has picked up a six-episode series starring the former Late Show host. Each hourlong episode will feature Letterman conducting a long-form conversation with a singular guest and in-the-field segments, in which he will explore topics on his own. The yet-to-be-named series is set to premiere in 2018.

“'I feel excited and lucky to be working on this project for Netflix. Here’s what I have learned, if you retire to spend more time with your family, check with your family first. Thanks for watching, drive safely,'" Letterman said in a statement.

Letterman is the longest-serving late-night host in American television history; He was the the original host of Late Night on NBC and then The Late Show CBS until his departure in May 2015. Since then, Letterman, sporting a long beard, has stayed largely out of the spotlight, only doing a handful of TV appearances, more notably in the National Geographic climate change docu series Years Of Living Dangerously. 

“'Just meeting David Letterman was a thrill; imagine how exciting it is for me to announce that we will be working together,' said Ted Sarandos, Chief Content Officer, Netflix. 'David Letterman is a true television icon, and I can’t wait to see him out in the wild, out from behind the desk and interviewing the people he finds most interesting. We’ll have to see if he keeps the beard.'

"The David Letterman series is being produced by RadicalMedia, the company behind Netflix’s What Happened, Miss Simone?, Oh Hello on Broadway and Abstract: The Art of Design, and Letterman’s Worldwide Pants banner."

"A hacker group released data on Monday that it claims to be have obtained from the HBO breach, including a synopsis of an upcoming “Game of Thrones” episode, along with contents from a network executive’s email inbox.

"The hackers refer to this latest information dump as the 'second wave' following last week’s release, which included episodes of Ballers and Insecure and a Game of Thrones script.

"A file in the new release is a video containing what appear to be descriptions of scenes from the fifth episode of GoT Season 7, set to air on Sunday.

"One file is labeled 'Script GOT7 E- 05,' while another contains screen shots of information related to Game of Thrones, including details on marketing and castings.

"Also included is the group’s purported first ransom notice to HBO, in which the hackers claim that it took them six months to breach the network’s system.

"The letter demands money to prevent the release of data. The message also claims that HBO is the 17th target of the hackers, and that all but three of those paid the ransom.

“'Our demand is clear and Non-Negotiable: we want [amount redacted] dollars to stop leaking your data,' the hackers allegedly told HBO.

"HBO said in a statement that the network does not believe that hackers have full access to the network’s email system.

“'HBO believed that further leaks might emerge from this cyber incident when we confirmed it last week,' the statement read. 'As we said, the forensic review is ongoing. While it has been reported that a number of emails have been made public, the review to date has not given us a reason to believe that our e-mail system as a whole has been compromised.'

“'We continue to work around the clock with outside cybersecurity firms and law enforcement to resolve the incident,' the network message continued. 'Meanwhile, our dedicated employees continue to focus on delivering the high quality of entertainment and service for which we are known.'

"Last weekend’s Game of Thrones episode was leaked to the internet several days prior to the episode airing, although this was determined to be unrelated to the hack."

A little more about season 3 of Hulu's Difficult People, a show you should be watching presuming you are a Hulu subscriber: "Normally a packed Italian restaurant and bar in the East Village of New York City, San Marzano has been transformed into Lola’s D’s Café (more on that name change in a bit), a less busy café run by Denise (Gabourey Sidibe) and Nate (Derrick Baskin), where Billy Epstein (Billy Eichner) works on Difficult People. During ET’s visit to the set of the Hulu comedy, which just so happens to be a day they’re filming scenes from the season three finale, things are noticeably different.

"For one thing, there’s that name. Normally called D’s Café, the place has been taken over by Lola, an outspoken transgender waitress played by the bitingly funny Shakina Nayfack. 'Lola saved us from Sephora,' Denise explains to the staff -- Billy, Lola, Denise, Nate and Matthew (Cole Escola), who has triumphantly returned from a Supermarket Sweep-turned-Scientology fiasco -- gathered around a table. But there’s also a new face among them: Tony Hale

"Yes, the Emmy-winning Veep star is now working at Lola’s D’s Café. Playing himself, the actor reveals to Billy in an earlier scene that he’s just looking for steady work. 'Hollywood chews you up and spits you out,' he laments at one point.

"Back at the table, where the staff has convened to hear Denise’s news, the cast struggles to get through a single take. Hale messes up the first one before asking director Scott King if he can make a small change to his character’s movement and then messes up again, forgetting the change. After getting it together, the cast gets through most of 'a great take,' according to King, before an overhead light goes out.

"As the crew rushes to get it replaced, the actors remain standing around the table, where they soon start cracking each other up, telling hushed jokes -- yes, this is a set where the cast genuinely does share laughs with each other -- and gossiping about Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram. Commenting on a recent photo showing her in Thailand perched on a paddleboard, Eichner briefly recalls working with her on Billy on the Streetin a segment called 'Lindsay Lohan and Billy Eichner Destroy a Car.' 'Hopefully she’s better now,' he concludes.

"With the light fixed, everyone gets back into character and starts running through the scene again, this time with Nayfack adding an improvised joke, calling Kat Von D a 'cisgender Nazi sympathizer.' And just when it looks like they’re going to get through the whole scene, Sidibe turns to Escola and starts laughing. When King asks her to run the line again, she screams, “I can’t!” Sidibe then immediately breaks into another laughing fit -- this time cracking up everyone on set. And this is pretty much how the rest of the day goes, as everyone struggles to keep the laughter to a minimum despite filming the bitterly funny series.

"In between takes (and fits of laughter), ET caught up with the cast and creator and star Julie Klausner by phone -- she was sick during the day of our visit -- to get the scoop on season three:

Yes, Billy Gets Off Grindr and Finds a Boyfriend

As many fans know by now, there’s going to be a signficant [sic] change to Billy’s love life on the show. Unlike the past two seasons, where audiences have seen Billy hook up at the gym or find dates on Grindr (“They come and they go,” Eichner says), he will find an unexpected relationship with Todd (Star Trek’s John Cho), an advertising executive.

How they encounter each other is too good to spoil, but Eichner says his character will have an 'intimate, romantic relationship with this guy who can really go head-to-head with him -- and turns him on in a new way.'

Billy’s Relationship With Todd Is Not in Competition With Billy and Julie’s Friendship

Unlike like other shows, say, Will & Grace, where their dating lives often tested the limits of their friendship, Eichner says that’s not the story they’re trying to tell on Difficult People. 'That's kind of a cliche and I think we've seen that story before,' he says. 'It's not a tug-of-war between Julie and John Cho's character.'

In fact, because she believes that pop culture has not done justice to the relationship between a gay man and straight woman, 'it was very important for me to present a gay male romantic relationship that was not in competition with a relationship that he had with his best girlfriend,' Klausner says of Billy and Todd’s romance, which will unfold over the course of this season. While she says the show doesn’t have a bible, one rule that she firmly stands by is that Billy and Julie don’t fight. 'It’s very important to maintain the integrity of the love story and the two of them.'

From Vanessa Williams to Tony Hale, the New Season Sees Even More Guest Stars

Like the past two seasons, Difficult People will welcome plenty of A-list guest stars to season three. In addition to Cho as Billy’s new love interest and Hale as himself, Williams will play Matthew’s ex-wife Trish, who still pines for her former lover.

'I don't think that anything gets better than that,' Escola says of Williams, teasing that 'she was so game.' 'It was very bizarre because we had this very intimate scene before we even had really met each other.'

Also joining this season are Lucy Liu, Rosie O’Donnell, Larry Wilmore, Chris Elliott, Maury Povich, Victor Garber and Susan Lucci. Additionally, ET revealed earlier this year that Stockard Channing will play Julie’s mother Marilyn’s (Andrea Martin) “trashy” sister, Bonnie, and John Turturro will play one of Marilyn’s former flames. 

Trump’s America Means Trouble for the Characters of Difficult People

As TV learns how to cope with a Donald Trump presidency, each show deals with it differently. Broad City will bleep out every mention of Trump’s name, Insecure indirectly addresses the racism that’s come with the presidency, and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt pokes fun at Trump University. On Difficult People, Klausner says the show had to address the new administration because 'it is a political show whether or not we inteded to be.' The result of the election was a shock to the writers’ room, but ultimately it 'informed our worldview and our frame of the show and the world in the show,' she says.

On season three, Trump’s America means especially bad news for D’s Café. 'Corporations are now branches of the U.S. military and are allowed to take over any part of the country they want,' Escola says, which explains why Lola has to save the restaurant from being taken over by Sephora.

But jokes and commentary aside, Klausner says that she’s proud to have a show that 'I hope is both a distraction and a statement. Hopefully, people watching it will know that despite the political climate, they are not alone.'”

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"Ever since Big Little Lies wrapped its critically-lauded run on HBO in April, there's been rumblings of a possible second season of the limited series.

"Reese Witherspoon tells The Hollywood Reporter that those conversations are ongoing, and that's she's 'optimistic' about doing more of the drama, which is based on Liane Moriarty's book of the same name.

"Ahead of the Emmys, the Oscar-winning actress chat with THR about the future of the limited series, the other TV character she'd like to play and the project she had to turn down because of Big Little Lies:

There’s been talk of a potential second season of Big Little Lies. What’s the latest?

Honestly, it’s totally in [novelist] Liane Moriarty’s court. The ball is definitely in her court because these characters were born of her mind and her imagination and we just want to see if she’s interested in creating more story about these characters. She really created an incredible road map for us that we followed almost to a T. Right now, we’re happy if this is all there is. We're optimistic that there might be more.

And you're talking to writer David E. Kelley about a second season as well?

Yes, he’s our producing partner.

What goes into the decision of continuing a limited series?

It just comes down to: Do we have the story? It was a standalone book and there was nothing after that, so it’s up to the mind of the writer to create the vision for the journey of these characters. Right now, we have nothing. We don’t have a book. We’re certainly not going to create it out of thin air. She’s very deft at, first of all, creating tension through mystery, but also digging deep into the very intimate lives of female friendships — their relationships, their romantic relationships, their parenting styles.

Was it ultimately the success of the show that made you think, ‘We should maybe revisit this?'

Yeah, and also just the demand from the audience. The most important thing as actors and filmmakers and entertainers is that you want to reach people. You want to touch people’s hearts and I think this is one of those shows that is unique in that it was very entertaining, but it was also really moving and talking about issues that are very on the forefront of everyone’s mind. So, it’s really demand from the audience that would create a second season.

If you could switch roles with another Emmy nominee in any category, who would it be and why?

I don’t think about being other people. Just characters, not real people. That would be really weird.

But was there another role you saw this year on TV and you were like, ‘I would’ve loved to try that.’

Oh! I would’ve liked to be Ewan McGregor. I would’ve liked to have been the twins that Ewan played in Fargo.

If your character in Big Little Lies were to join another show or film, which one do you think it would be and why?

I feel like my character would like to be on maybe Billions or something like that. I think she would probably like to explore the lives of billionaires and help give them advice about how to raise their children. [Laughs.] She basically would be on any show giving everyone advice on how to be a parent.

Was there something that surprised you about how fans and viewers reacted to your character?

Well, we got one really, really mean review that was super dismissive and said it was just basically a soap opera for rich ladies, which was so diminishing and I felt like this person didn’t really watch all seven episodes of the show. We found out that they only watched three and the publication pulled his review and re-reviewed it. But that shocked me. I thought it was so dismissive and it was, you know, some crusty old white dude who doesn’t understand that women are complex and interesting and interested.

What's a role or project you had to turn down because of Big Little Lies?

I was supposed to do a small part in Alexander Payne’s new movie [Downsizing] and that bummed me out because I wanted to be with him, but I couldn’t balance being producer and starring in and also handling three kids and two parents and everything, and then also go away and make his film. I was really bummed to miss that opportunity, but he completely understood. It was just a small part anyway.

What’s the strangest or most surprising fan interaction you’ve had?

The one that’s really fun right now is everybody who will come up to me and tell me they’re a Renata or they’re a Madeline or they’re a Jane. [Laughs.] It’s so funny that groups of friends have all decided which character that they are. One of my favorite things is on Instagram where there are two fabulous guys who dress up as me and Laura Dern in all the moments of our career. I just think it’s really funny. Also, they did the opening sequence where all the women walk towards the camera in their Audrey Hepburn outfits. They completely reenacted it with costumes and everything at one of their dinner parties, which was fabulous."

Per AdAge, "NBC's decision to double down on its reboot of Will & Grace a good two months before it returns to the airwaves may be a bit of a head-scratcher, but given how low the broadcast comedy bar has been set, Bob Greenblatt's gambit isn't a particularly risky venture.

"The NBC entertainment chairman announced the renewal during a Thursday session at the Television Critics Press Tour in Pasadena, Calif., saying that a 13-episode tenth season of Will & Grace will follow on the heels of this fall's 16-part arc, which premieres Sept. 28. As it happens, Greenblatt's surprise news bite arrived a day after the cast ran through its first table read in a decade.

"'There's been such an outpouring of love from the fans,' Greenblatt said. 'We are a very grateful network, and we're more than thrilled to have this show on the air for a minimum of two seasons.'

"While premature renewals are generally best left to the Netflixes and HBOs of the TV ecosystem -- as neither service is ad-supported, ratings aren't nearly as consequential -- Greenblatt's decision to go all-in on a show that's been mothballed since the midway point of George W. Bush's second administration isn't exactly a high-stakes gamble. After all, the revamped "Will & Grace" won't have to put up Big Bang Theory or Modern Family numbers to be considered a success; during the 2016-17 broadcast season, NBC's five comedies averaged a meager 1.0 C3 rating, which translates to just 1.28 million adults 18 to 49.

"Comedies have been such a low-yield crop at NBC of late that the genre hasn't generated north of a 1.5 average in the C3 commercial ratings currency since the 2012-13 season, and even then the network brass canceled nine of the 11 sitcoms that were on the schedule.

"If Will & Grace manages to eke out so much as a 1.0 in the guaranteed demo, it will have earned its keep. Last season, a mere one-tenth of a ratings point separated the Peacock's lowest-rated renewed comedy (the Tina Fey-produced Great News, which averaged a 0.8 rating) from its lone canceled sitcom (Powerless, 0.7).

"Speaking of diminshed ratings expectations, Greenblatt told TCA attendees that time-shifted and digital viewing was keeping the wolf from the door, citing Nielsen live-plus-35-day data that seemed to suggest that its year-ago hit This Is Us is averaging a 13.0 rating in the 18 to 49 demographic when DVR and non-linear views are factored into the mix. The trouble with that is, live-plus-anything program ratings isn't the currency against which TV ad deals are transacted. The only relevant numbers have to do with average commerical [sic] deliveries; in the case of This Is Us, the freshman season averaged a 3.1 in C3 and a 3.4 in C7.

"Meanwhile, no longer tasked with going head-to-head with broadcast's highest-rated scripted show (a post-upfront switcheroo will keep Will & Grace from having to compete with CBS's The Big Bang Theory), the reboot will now lead out of NBC's highest-rated comedy, The Good Place.

"The Good Place averaged a 1.3 C3 rating in its regular Thursday night time slot, which isn't too shabby, given that all live-action comedies last season managed just a 1.0 in the 18-to-49 demo.

"Naturally, if Will & Grace winds up being a disaster along the lines of the Hindenburg crashing into the deck of the Andrea Doria, NBC always has the option of reversing course. Series orders are made and unmade all the time; in the last five years alone, the network has sidelined a number of projects that had been green-lit and sold in the upfront.

"Among the more notable examples are the 2015 reboot of Coach, which had its straight-to-series order rescinded just weeks before the start of the season, and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which was shipped off to Netflix in November 2015. Other orders that never made it to the big show include the 2012 Dane Cook project Next Caller, and Mockingbird Lane, the pilot episode of a reanimated The Munsters that was burned off two weeks after NBC yanked Cook's show form contention.

"However things shake out for Will & Grace, the show won't come anywhere near of the highs it enjoyed when it was part of NBC's formidable 'Must-See TV' lineup between 2000 and 2006. At its third-season peak, Will & Grace averaged a whopping 17.3 million viewers and a 9.4 rating in the key demo, which works out to 11.8 million adults 18 to 49. By comparison, last season's top-rated scripted hit, AMC's The Walking Dead, averaged 11.4 million viewers and a 5.4 in the comparable demo.

"It is, perhaps, also worth noting that Will & Grace notched its lowest ratings in its eighth and final season. No longer boosted by high-octane running mates like Friends and ScrubsWill & Grace closed out its initial run with an average draw of 8.63 million viewers and a 3.6 rating -- good for 4.7 million adults 18 to 49. If the reboot delivers even a third of those targeted viewers, it will be judged a howling success."

From GQ: "After the smashing success of season two of his Netflix show, Master of None, Aziz Ansari vowed to go analog. No social media. No e-mail. No laboring over season three. So we invited the stand-up turned television auteur to be our plus-one at Paris Fashion Week—and got him to teach us the art of unplugging.

"He's early. I'm not sure how early he got to Au Passage, a restaurant serving small plates (Aziz's choice) that's tucked away on a graffiti-riddled street in central Paris. But he beat me—and I was early. I found him leaning on a wall, alone. Not looking at his phone or speaking with the maître d'. In fact, his posture didn't project any of the standard anxiety one gets while waiting alone in a crowded place. After a short back-and-forth about whether the Gucci Princetown slippers I'm wearing are still cool (when it comes to matters of taste, Aziz has opinions on everything), we sit down, elbow to elbow with other Americans who are excited to overpay for a sliver of duck.

"Watching the second season of Aziz's Netflix hit, Master of None, was like watching Kobe in a legacy-sealing playoff game. He just kept hitting shot after shot, each one more creative and impressive than the one before it. Season two has the black lesbian coming-out story.

"It has eight minutes of silence. (It involves a deaf couple; you just have to watch it.) It has a 12-year-old Indian boy singing pitch-perfect D'Angelo. (It's Aziz's character, Dev, in a flashback.) Watching the show is to watch a popular American stand-up comic who sold out Madison Square Garden but wasn't exactly threatening Richard Pryor's throne evolve into a legit streaming-television auteur—the execution is that original, artful, and assured.

"If there's any explanation for Aziz's total comfort at a small artisanal restaurant in a foreign city, it could be because this has become his comfort zone. Much has been made of the time Aziz spent in Italy before shooting part of season two in Modena, but Italy is the least of it. He lived here in Paris for a month. Went to Japan for a summer. Speaks a smattering of the languages. Who knows where he's plotting to move next?

"But there's another possible explanation, too. Before meeting Aziz, I received a tip that he'd unplugged from everything but text messaging. He's off social media. He deleted the Internet browser from his phone and laptop. No e-mail, either. Technologically speaking, he's living in, like, 1999. Supposedly, anyway—I was a bit skeptical. I wanted to know: Did he unplug or 'unplug'? Does he have an assistant sending him breaking news via messenger pigeon? Does he monitor his inbox for important e-mails but not reply directly? Is this just a really next-level Hollywood way to stunt after finding fame and fortune? And, most important, if it is true, has it made him happier?

"Once dinner is over, Aziz and I will walk to La Grande Roue de Paris—the famous Ferris wheel on Place de la Concorde—and go for a spin. Here at Au Passage, it seems wise to let the famous foodie at the table take the lead in ordering the food. He asks if I want some wine, and I tell him I've never drunk or smoked. 'You've never been curious'” he asks, 'about either smoking or drinking?' He puts his menu down and never returns to it.

[This interview has been condensed.]

I've been curious about smoking weed, I guess... Especially when people talk about it helping with creativity.
To me, the argument for drugs is that you live your life with this one perspective all the time. Why not just see what it's like from a different perspective? To be on some crazy drugs.

What's the most fun drug you've ever done?
I've done mushrooms a few times, but I've never done much beyond that. I gotta be in the right environment to do drugs. Could you imagine if I was on mushrooms right now? It's like, everyone in this restaurant knows who I am. Do you realize how terrifying that would be? So I really have to be somewhere alone, away from everybody.

How are your paranoia levels generally?
I'm pretty comfortable with myself.

You should be, man. You're coming off of a major win with season two of Master of None. It seemed like a big evolution from season one..
You get an incredibly different perspective when you do the second season of a show. You know what worked—you know what you were most excited about that you made. [Co-creator] Alan [Yang] and I looked at the episodes from season one, and our favorites were the ones that were really ambitious—where we were really trying something new. They really got people talking, like the Parents episode or “Indians on TV.” So this season, we're like, Let's just make every episode something like that. Not that we didn't try to do that the first season, but we were like, Let's be really aggressive about it. There are a lot of crazy things we tried.

The Thanksgiving episode, which was heavy on flashbacks and a total aside from the season's main narratives, got a lot of praise.
I was sitting at dinner last night after the shoot, and this guy just started talking about that episode: “I'm gay and I'm black and that was my experience.” And it was so cool, because it seemed like it was a specific story, but it's a really universal experience for a lot of people.

What's the most annoying question that people ask about Master of None?
You know what I'm glad about? After the first season, I fucking ran out of things to say about diversity. But after the second season, there hasn't been anything, like, very annoying—there's just things that you get asked a lot. Like: What about season three? Which is obviously a question people have to ask, but for me it's a little stress-inducing. Alan once said it best: It's like we just gave birth to a kid and they're like, When are you gonna have another kid?

You really don't feel the need to make anything?
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. We both have more money than we ever imagined. And I was like, Can you imagine if someone called us a few years ago and said, “All right, you're going to have this much money when you're this age. What are you gonna do with it?” You would say all sorts of fantastical things, right? No one would say, Oh, I would figure out how to make more money and keep working all the time. Everyone just buys into this, like, Oh, I need to keep making stuff, I need to go make more money. I don't need to make more stuff. I've made a lot of stuff! I'm financially okay. I'm not gonna make stuff just for the sake of making stuff. I want to make stuff ’cause I'm inspired. Right now I don't really feel inspired.

I heard you deleted the Internet from your phone. And that you deleted Twitter and Instagram and e-mail. No way that's true, right?
It is! Whenever you check for a new post on Instagram or whenever you go on The New York Times to see if there's a new thing, it's not even about the content. It's just about seeing a new thing. You get addicted to that feeling. You're not going to be able to control yourself. So the only way to fight that is to take yourself out of the equation and remove all these things. What happens is, eventually you forget about it. You don't care anymore. When I first took the browser off my phone, I'm like, [gasp] How am I gonna look stuff up? But most of the shit you look up, it's not stuff you need to know. All those websites you read while you're in a cab, you don't need to look at any of that stuff. It's better to just sit and be in your own head for a minute. I wanted to stop that thing where I get home and look at websites for an hour and a half, checking to see if there's a new thing. And read a book instead. I've been doing it for a couple months, and it's worked. I'm reading, like, three books right now. I'm putting something in my mind. It feels so much better than just reading the Internet and not remembering anything.

What about important news and politics?
I was reading all this Trump stuff, and it doesn't feel like we're reading news for the reason we used to, which was to get a better sense of what's going on in the world and to enrich yourself by being aware. It seems like we're reading wrestling rumors. It's like reading about what happened on Monday Night Raw. When you take a step back, it all just seems so sensationalized. Trump's gonna get impeached! No, he's not. None of that shit's happening. But you are going to read all the articles. So if you take yourself out of it, you're not infected with this toxicity all the time. Also, guess what? Everything is fine! I'm not out of the loop on anything. Like, if something real is going down, I'll find out about it.

But you're choosing to be uninformed.
I'm not choosing ignorance. I'm choosing to not watch wrestling.

Are you currently single?
[Nods]

Describe Aziz Ansari's dream girl.
Someone I would be thrilled to do nothing with who would be as equally thrilled to do nothing with me.

Have you ever said that line before?
I've said the first part, but I added the second part just now.

I have to be honest, my man. I'm surprised at how sad you sound. It's a beautiful night in Paris, France, you have the hottest thing streaming, suede loafers on your feet... You don't seem like someone who has the world by the balls, you know?
I got the world by the balls professionally. Personally, I'm alone right now. And when you have the world by the balls professionally, the balls disintegrate and then you gotta find new balls when you're inspired again. So right now, I have it by the balls, but I'm feeling it slowly going away and I'm worried about finding new balls. But another part of me is like, You don't need to find new balls. The new balls will come when they need to come. Live your life, experience things, and balls will always come your way.

Do you want kids?
I think I want to meet someone I want to have that discussion with. Wait! Let's go back to the balls! What would you think I would do if I felt more sure of myself? Like, I feel pretty confident. I'm not trying to get into a relationship right away. I'm trying to get mature and evolve as a person. Even cutting out the Internet and social-media stuff, and reading more, is a good step in the right direction.

Do other comics ever pressure you to do more?
I got lunch with Bobby Cannavale, who plays Chef Jeff, and Louis C.K. was there. And I say hi to Louis, and he's like, Yeah, I'm shooting something. And I'm like, Fuck, man! He's, like, making something he's excited about. So then I'm like: What am I doing? I need to make something! I need to make something again!You know? Or I walk by and I see posters for Chappelle's shows at Radio City. I'm like, I need to do shows! What am I doing? I need to write a new stand-up set! But if I'm in Italy, I don't think about any of that shit. I see an old man riding a bike and I'm like, That looks nice.

Maybe we should grab some candy for our walk. What's your favorite candy?
I don't eat a ton of candy, but I like orange Starbursts.

That's definitely the worst flavor, man.
People like orange! By the way, if you put this in the article, you realize I will get a fucking massive packet of Starbursts sent to me.

What's your favorite thing that you've been mailed unsolicited?
My favorite thing anyone ever gave me unsolicited was one time I did a show at the Largo in Los Angeles, and this woman gave me a painting of Soulja Boy. And I still have it. It's Soulja Boy just kind of looking out the window. It's incredible. What fragrance are you wearing?

Who's the best-smelling black dude—myself excluded—that you've ever smelled?
Ginuwine smells really good. He did Parks and Rec and…he smelled really good every time I ran into him.

What's the best advice you've received as of late?
I was talking to Spike Jonze the other day, and he was like, Yeah, I'm not really doing anything right now. My rule is, if it's not more fun than going surfing, I'm not gonna do it. I love when I say no to everything. [laughs]"