Monday December 9, 2013

If you have been holding your breath for a Friday Night Lights movie, please stop or you're going to die.  Peter Berg had the following to say about the chances of said film: “[t]here’s not gonna be a movie.  We talked about it, some people thought it was a good idea, some didn’t; I’ve come to believe it’s probably not a good idea and I seriously doubt it’s gonna happen.”

I'm looking forward to the season finale of Homeland next week, both to see how they wrap it up and also so that we can all move on to another show to fill our Sunday night.  Here's a recap of last night's episode if you're so inclined.  This sums up last night quite nicely: "this week’s episode, in which Brody’s plan to kill General Akbari goes wrong and he appears to defect to Iran for real before knocking the General out and smothering him with a rather nice green velvet throw pillow, turned out to be just as invested in the idea of Brody As Superhero and Brody and Carrie As One True Pairing as any message board. . . . [W]hat is going to happen to Brody now? Is Carrie going to extract him and they’re going to go live at the lake house, with the proviso that Brody can never leave the property again because he’s the most wanted man in the world?"

"ABC has trimmed Scandals Season 3 episode order from 22 to 18, TVLine has learned.  The network gave no official explanation for the cutback, but it’s safe to say the decision was made in response to the real-life pregnancy of leading lady Kerry Washington. The actress’ spring due date would’ve made shooting those final four episodes next to impossible (and, according to sources, writing Olivia out of the show for an extended period of time was not an option.)"  Damn you Nnamdi Asomugha.

More winning news from ABC as tonight marks the premiere of The Great Christmas Light Fight.  Please do not waste your time watching this garbage, which the network describes as follows: "The Great Christmas Light Fight is a new competition series in which 20 families from across America will decorate their homes to the extreme for Christmas – in ways that would certainly make even Clark Griswold envious – with a total of $250,000 in prizing ($50,000 won each episode). The Great Christmas Light Fight will air [the next three Monday nights] with back-to-back episodes on those two nights. Michael Moloney & Sabrina Soto (both from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition) will serve as judges for the series."   

One last gem from the ABC family today.  Evidently, you're not allowed to say the word "suck" on ESPN.  For the record, you can say f*ck on Comedy Central.

Spencer Pratt has finally finished up all of his college courses.  Only took him 10 years.  Evidently, he's been to busy being famous.

I had the opportunity to spend time on both Saturday and Sunday with Kitchen Crashers host Alison Victoria.  She's simply fantastic and if you're not watching her on DIY, you're doing yourself a disservice.  You'll be seeing more of her soon as she's filming a commercial today that will be airing on DIY and HGTV after the first of the year.

Lena Dunham interviewed Judy Blume.  Click here to be taken back to your youth.  

I recorded, but have not yet watched Discovery's new show Dude, You're Screwed.  The network describes it as a show where "five of the world’s most elite, thrill-seeking survivalists will find out! The seven-part series is the newest twist in the survival genre, premiering on Discovery Channel on Sunday December 8th at 10:00pm ET/PT, and on Animal Planet in early 2014.

"Unprepared and left to fend for yourself, what would you do if you were captured, blindfolded and taken to an unknown, remote location? Viewers are about to find out as these five survivalists must prove they have what it takes week after week as they play this “game” that puts all of their skills to the ultimate test."

Fox has reduced its order of Dads by three episodes.  Name ONE person you know who is watching this show.  That's what I thought.

Padma Lakshmi has lost of that Top Chef weight she allegedly gained, and Will Smith looks like he's ready to shoot Ali 2.

Per Deadline, "Xbox is venturing into comedy with an untitled half-hour project which I hear marks the first script sale to close at xBox. Like Halo andEvery Street United, the comedy too is tied to gaming, which is xBox’s core business.  Written by Ian Edelman, the untitled single-comedy is about four racially diverse, ex pro skaters living together in a Los Angeles."

Per Variety, "[t]wo disparate groups of females make their debut the same week, both grabbing for the reality-TV brass ring: Rodeo Girls, a pretty self-explanatory A&E series about women who “work hard, ride fast and play rough”; and Tequila Sisters, a TV Guide Network half-hour about wannabe Kardashians of almost breathtaking banality. If Rodeo at least explores a relatively interesting pastime — think The Real Horsewives of Arizona — there’s not enough tequila in the world to make the latter worth watching, despite the odd moment of unintentional mirth.

"Built around a handful of female barrel racers, Rodeo Girls clearly centers on Darcy LaPier as what amounts to its version of Dynasty’s Alexis Carrington — a wealthy, thrice-married, glammed-up rider who enjoys competitive trash-talk as much as the next gal. She instantly raises the hackles of her rivals, many of whom resent the way she flaunts her money.

Tequila Sisters, by contrast, ought to be a reality comedy (the episodes are just a half-hour), but instead feels like self-parody — focusing on the four Hispanic-American daughters, ages 21 to 28, of Tequila entrepreneur Bill Marin. Having emigrated to Southern California from Mexico, Marin, who has a bad habit of crying during his direct-to-camera interviews, seeks to keep tight control of his daughters, only to have his pampered and privileged progeny chafe against his short leash.

"Thus, the premiere finds the oldest, 28-year-old Jen, asking for $40,000 to throw herself a birthday party. When dad objects, she goes to her rich boyfriend, followed by a meeting of the four sisters — in the hot tub, naturally, because seriously, where else would four gals meet to discuss family matters?"

The midseason premiere of Suits on USA Network will be on Thursday, March 6 at 9 PM, followed by the debut of medical comedy Sirens, executive produced by Denis Leary.  I'll remind you of this a few more times between now and then, I'm sure.

Check out the poster for Rochelle Rochelle, the story of a young girl's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk, which have started to appear in New York.

Bryan Cranston talked to the New York Times about reading.

I caught a very odd episode of True Life on MTV that made me weep for society.  The episode was titled "I'm Famous Online" and featured to alleged on-line celebrities, one of whom has a YouTube persona called "Miranda Sings."  To be frank, she's not attractive, not talented and not funny, but has 650k+ likes on YouTube and millions of views.  The other subject of the episode was some teenager named Brady Good who has over 180k followers on Instagram.  If someone could PLEASE explain to me the appeal of either of this people, I would be grateful.  Evidently, something happened after this episode as Brady's Instagram page no longer shows any photos.  It's probably better that way.  He seemingly has moved over to Twitter, where he has almost 25k followers.

HGTV is investing even more heavily in real estate. The home of House Hunters and Love It or List It, et. al., is premiering Vacation House for Free on Wednesday, January 1, Beat the House on Tuesday, January 7, and The Brian Boitano Project on Thursday, January 16.